The stretch

Do you know what the best part of working a three-day stretch is? Coming out the other side, taking a deep breath, and allowing my proverbial cup to be refilled by doing the little things that make me feel human again. Drinking a cup of coffee without looking at the clock for when my break is over. Having a conversation with a friend that doesn't revolve around the patients we both have. Reading a book. Taking a bath. Because this job literally takes everything you've got, and it's not easy to go on giving everything day after day without allowing yourself to be replenished.

Every nurse knows what I'm talking about.

You pour yourself out each shift; diligently monitoring, providing care for, and offering comfort to complete strangers. It's not only hard on your body, it's hard on your mind and heart. I'd almost venture to say, your soul. To care for others is no easy feat. And the longer I work over here at Yale-New Haven, the more I believe this to be a truly universal concept. People are hurting everywhere - the same in Spokane, Washington as in Connecticut. So if I boil it down, travel nursing isn't hard. It's NURSING that is hard. If you endeavor to do what the job actually requires, it stretches you, and can sap you dry.

I've recently started reading a book called Celebration of Discipline with a dear friend, and it begins by introducing the concept that the harder I "try" to accomplish closeness with the Lord, or to be a better person than I am, the more I will stumble. This is because I am relying on myself to do the "doing". But if I would hand that job back to God (where it belongs), He will do the necessary work in my life to make me what I am supposed to be.

In this same way, if I continually pour into nursing while counting on MYSELF to fuel my efforts, it will be only a matter of time before I run dry. Sometimes I wonder how long I'll be able to do this, how long WE will be able to do this. I see the toll this job takes on myself and my husband. But by relying on God to work THRU me, the effort becomes minimal. The giving takes less out of me. Because it can come from Him if I let Him do the work.

So I'm going to take the day and let Him refresh me. Let Him sustain me. Because He knows best what I need. And He already knows the people that He wants to touch thru me. The other day as I was finishing my shift, one of my patients asked if I was coming back the next day. When I told her yes, she said "Oh good...it's such a comfort to know you will be here." That's why I love what I get to do. Despite the work, despite the cost, I know God means us to be here. And I know He has what I need to get thru the next stretch.