Lenten reveries

Right now I'm listening to the drizzle of DC rain, sitting in a cozy brownstone on Massachusetts ave. No, we didn't suddenly move to the nation's capitol. I'm visiting my sister :) Friday is a busy day for her on the Hill, so I'm taking the afternoon for daydreaming. There's something lovely about being in a city where no one knows you, expects you to be anywhere, or to do anything. Even in New Haven, I can easily become too absorbed in to-do's, and don't take the time to just be. 

During this season of Lent, I've decided to take a sabbatical from social media (and while I realize that I AM writing a blog, I think of this more as external processing than social interaction). This is a lot easier said than done. I didn't realize how difficult it would be until I subconsciously reached into my pocket to see if that vibration I just felt was a new post. It's like having one ear always tuned to another conversation while trying to speak with the person right in front of you. Something is terribly wrong with our, or at least my, priorities...

I remember when social media first exploded on the scene. I was a freshman in college, and it was as if the world was suddenly open. Everyone I knew could be at my fingertips! I could see what they were up to, show them what I was up to, and even leave witty comments on their cute pictures. What a grand pastime! But as the years went by, and this one site in particular became more and more engrained in daily life, it became less an exciting connection with others and more a daily chore. In fact, more like an albatross. This nagging tug that told me to check in, even though I wasn't interested in what so and so had for dinner, or affected by what such and such did this weekend. It began to invade my downtime, penetrate my work life, even assault my family time. Seriously??

Since when did technology become a hindrance to being present?

So my Lenten pursuit is to shed this awful tick, this habit of perpetually concerning myself with a virtual stream of endless updates from afar while real people around me are waiting to be talked to. Encouraged or uplifted. Heard. Seen. Could it be that every time I look down at the device in my hand, I'm missing an opportunity to be a light to someone around me? Even smiling at the person that passes me on the sidewalk matters. I want to be open to whatever or whoever comes my way, mentally present and willing to engage. But it's more than changing the way I interact with those around me. It's an attempt to change what frequency I'm tuned in to.

What if we all quieted our minds and our smart phones and listened? Listened in that sweet silence for the still, small voice that only a tranquil soul can hear. What if all that updating and commenting is really only a means to preoccupy me, to distract me from listening deeper? Sometimes I'm afraid of silence. I think most of us are. But I truly believe that's where we hear God best. When we pull away from the noise and the hurry, when we center down, we can tune in to the Voice that matters most. My prayer during this Lent season is that I might be present, take the time to be still, and listen up.

The place my dad was born

This past weekend, Patrick and I decided to put a few more miles on the Jeep and 

take a trip to the Ocean State! 

We have been wanting to see what other old towns are like across New England. 

Our destination: Newport, Rhode Island

We didn't know much about the place before we got there, but armed with Google and Wikipedia, we learned as we went :) Newport was established in 1639...yep, before the U.S. was a country. We learned that not only was this City By the Sea a trade port, it was home to pirates! In honor of this heritage, we dined at the Red Parrot Restaurant on historic Thames Street. 

Best seafood on the east coast to date.

I could bore you with lots more historical facts, but apparently these days Newport is most notable for its mansions. This was the summer play place for big time southern plantation owners in the mid-1800's. Along Bellevue Avenue there are dozens of these sprawling "cottages", some open for tours. So we had a look at one called the Breakers.

Pat in front of their enormous gate.

We couldn't take pictures inside, but they didn't call it the Gilded Age for nothing...expensive tapestries, sculptures, mosaics and gold leaf literally covered the interior. Who knew??

After wandering those halls awhile, we decided to go enjoy the natural scenery too. We took a walk along a trail called Cliff Walk, which skirts the mansion properties and the coast.

This place gets most of its tourists during the summer months, who flock here for the sailing. But the ocean was just as beautiful in February, and we got to introduce our puppy to the sea!

Before leaving, we had one more stop to make. Another little known fact about Newport, RI is that it is the birthplace of my father :) I'm sure the hospital has changed much over the years, but at least we can say we were there! (Drive-by photo, I know, lol)

We grabbed a tasty treat at the Sailor's Sweet Touth, then we hit the road. Another day trip, conquered! Til our next adventure :)

The stretch

Do you know what the best part of working a three-day stretch is? Coming out the other side, taking a deep breath, and allowing my proverbial cup to be refilled by doing the little things that make me feel human again. Drinking a cup of coffee without looking at the clock for when my break is over. Having a conversation with a friend that doesn't revolve around the patients we both have. Reading a book. Taking a bath. Because this job literally takes everything you've got, and it's not easy to go on giving everything day after day without allowing yourself to be replenished.

Every nurse knows what I'm talking about.

You pour yourself out each shift; diligently monitoring, providing care for, and offering comfort to complete strangers. It's not only hard on your body, it's hard on your mind and heart. I'd almost venture to say, your soul. To care for others is no easy feat. And the longer I work over here at Yale-New Haven, the more I believe this to be a truly universal concept. People are hurting everywhere - the same in Spokane, Washington as in Connecticut. So if I boil it down, travel nursing isn't hard. It's NURSING that is hard. If you endeavor to do what the job actually requires, it stretches you, and can sap you dry.

I've recently started reading a book called Celebration of Discipline with a dear friend, and it begins by introducing the concept that the harder I "try" to accomplish closeness with the Lord, or to be a better person than I am, the more I will stumble. This is because I am relying on myself to do the "doing". But if I would hand that job back to God (where it belongs), He will do the necessary work in my life to make me what I am supposed to be.

In this same way, if I continually pour into nursing while counting on MYSELF to fuel my efforts, it will be only a matter of time before I run dry. Sometimes I wonder how long I'll be able to do this, how long WE will be able to do this. I see the toll this job takes on myself and my husband. But by relying on God to work THRU me, the effort becomes minimal. The giving takes less out of me. Because it can come from Him if I let Him do the work.

So I'm going to take the day and let Him refresh me. Let Him sustain me. Because He knows best what I need. And He already knows the people that He wants to touch thru me. The other day as I was finishing my shift, one of my patients asked if I was coming back the next day. When I told her yes, she said "Oh good...it's such a comfort to know you will be here." That's why I love what I get to do. Despite the work, despite the cost, I know God means us to be here. And I know He has what I need to get thru the next stretch.

Oh, The City :)

As in, New York City. Apparently on the east coat, when anyone refers to "The City", you're supposed to know they mean NYC. But let's face it, the place has rightfully earned it's reputation as THE City, so I won't argue.

We decided earlier this week that we were going to make an impromptu drive to NYC for a night to go see the one and only Allen Stone play at the Apple store! So, armed with google maps and our new, no-nonsense Jeep, we left yesterday for Brooklyn. To our great surprise, we navigated there without a hitch, and were blown away by the approaching skyline and the mass sprawl that is the boroughs. We were only able to snag one shot - pardon the photo quality, I kinda took this while driving ;)

Thankfully, we had found a pet-friendly hotel in Brooklyn close to a Metro station, so Lady was able to accompany us on our voyage :) We tromped around the neighborhood, admired all the brownstones, and after a quick lunch, took the R line into Manhattan. We found our way to the Chelsea neighborhood so that we could get wrist bands for the show. Despite having been to New York a couple times, I had never been to an area that felt like people LIVED there. Not touristy or bright and loud, but full of people actually going about their daily lives - grocery shoppers, kids going to school, suits carrying briefcases. It was refreshing.

We grabbed bands at the Apple store, and then just started walking. Before we knew it, we had gone about a dozen city blocks and were at Times Square. Still hustling and bustling, like always...

After a few miles of walking, we decided to subway it back to Chelsea and grab a bite to eat before the show. We found an awesome restaurant called Pad Thai Noodle Lounge, where we feasted on crab rangoon and curry to our heart's delight. Then we hurried the one block to Apple, where we met our dear friend Rachel, who joined us for the show!

We waited and waited (and waited), but of course it was worth the wait - Allen never disappoints. If you haven't heard of Allen Stone, do yourself a favor and look him up! Straight from Chewelah, this 23-yr old guy has enough soul to blast a room apart, and is probably one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. He was also recently on Conan. No big deal. Out of respect for the no-photography request, I only took a  pre-show shot, but seriously...this kid and his band bring some SOUND.

One killer show later, we gave him a few big hugs from the Pacific Northwest, bid dear Rachel farewell  and headed back to our hotel. The next morning we decided "well, we made it to Brooklyn, how hard could it be to drive to the Bronx?" So we loaded into the mighty Jeep and away we went! I tried to find a map to do the ensuing chaos justice, but this is the closest I could find....

Let's just say I have NO idea how anybody did this before smart phones. We drove from the lower yellow section, east thru the sherbet orange section, then north and west into the tan section. I still couldn't tell you how, but 45 minutes later, we arrived! We found ourselves in a Little Italy, tried the wares at Morrone Pastry Shop & Cafe (yum!) and then picked up Rach, who guided us to some good ol' mexican at La Estrella. Shortly after, we took the prettiest Parkway all the way back to Hamden. Only an hour away :)

I don't know why, but despite being just a day and a half, this was a really great trip. Maybe it had something to do with the reason we went, or the people with whom we spent our time. And maybe it's because we didn't pack it full of sights and tourist stops. It felt like we weren't tourists, in fact, but could actually enjoy the City and just let it breathe around us. Can't wait for our next visit :)

February, onward!

At this very moment, I am sitting on our couch next to my sister, her fiancé, and my husband. A fire is crackling warmly in the fireplace nearby and we are just starting Wait Until Dark. This is the best :)

The month of January went by in a springlike flash! It's hard to believe we're a third of the way through our first assignment, but I won't get all sentimental right now. Too much good stuff is happening!

We entered February with a happy arrival. Our long awaited license plates and registration made it all the way from Washington state to grace our new Jeep Wrangler, hooray!

It's like being head and shoulders over every other car, riding in this brute. Takes speed bumps like they're kid stuff. My husband is practically giddy behind the wheel, lol.

Even cooler than our car, Patrick and I finally completed and faxed our applications (read two dozen pieces of paper) to Mercy Ships last week - and they wrote us back! A woman in their volunteer organizer department replied with a very kind email asking for copies of our passports and our nursing diplomas, which we will shoot back to her real soon. It was almost startling how quickly we were contacted. Hopefully we'll know just as quickly whether they can use us. Prayers please!

And yesterday, my sister and her man drove all the way up from D.C. to spend the weekend with us! We've been giving them the grand tour, and of course, introduced them to their niece ;)

It's such a treat to have people that really know us come to play! Makes it feel like we aren't that far from home after all :)